How to win in the Dragon's Den (and make a cheap programme while you're at it)

With the news that Deborah Meaden has finally joined Twitter, I thought I'd revisit the Dragon's Den for our readers.

The BBC have made the most out of the phenomena for business reality shows with spin off shows for both of its hits - Dragon's Den and The Apprentice. But how do you win in the Den? What makes an excellent pitch? Where do people's ideas come from?

Each show in the series is dedicated to a different part of the process. This week's was 'The secret to money making ideas'. 

Except there wasn't much of a secret. Nor any real insight. It was a hashed-together re-run of clips from previous shows cut together with vox pops of the Dragons themselves (who sadly weren't particularly full of insightful gems) and previous 'entrepreneurs'; some who'd failed and others who'd succeeded in getting some money out of the grumpy sods.

Some classic 'insights' we were treated to: "New ideas can change the way we live" and "Ideas are the lifeblood of the Den".

Lesson 1 - Keep your ideas coming

Damn! So you have to have ideas? To go on Dragon's Den? That's a real nugget of how to succeed, definitely. We met @markchampkins, who is now inventor in residence at the British Science Museum (which you should definitely visit: it's free!). He was lucky enough to get an investment with Peter Jones, who always tend to take a punt on people if he likes them enough. However, it was obvious that there was some glossing over the fact that Mark wasn't quite lighting up the world with his inventions, despite he and Peter apparently 'sparking off each other' - something the production team neglected to show us as Peter simply commented on one of Mark's newest 'retro' ideas: a plastic gramophone to amplify the tinny output of an iPhone: "it's a bit gimmicky. Yeah, I think people might buy it".

I remain unconvinced by lesson one. It's pretty obvious you need an idea to get on Dragon's Den. They don't tend to offer you money if you turn up just asking for it.

Lesson 2 - Don't forget to dream (but have some insight)

This section treated us to: "it's really vital to have dreams" and "it's very important to know the difference between reality and dreams". Thanks for the heads up. I wondered where I'd been going wrong.

This section was, thankfully, shorter - we saw a children's meditation expert trying to convince the Dragons to invest despite her admission that she wasn't driven by bags of money.

Lesson 3 - Do your homework

Patents are sometimes worthless and they can be a waste of time and money. Patenting an idea is useless unless it's a good patent that protects your product adequately. The understated and delightful Lisa and Shaleen from Blooming High were a perfect example of two ladies who, however inexperienced in sales and marketing they were, had good heads on their shoulders and managed to get a patent on an absolutely unique watering system for plants covering gutter pipes. Whilst I thought their product's Unique Selling Point (USP) was that it was hideous, I'm obviously wrong as they have now expanded into Japan and Switzerland. Good luck to them!

Lesson 4 - Think outside the box

I don't think I've heard the word box uttered more times since Schroedinger locked his cat in one and questioned whether it was still alive. The next paragraph could repeat 'Think outside the box' 10 times and be an accurate representation of what was said. Except Duncan Bannatyne disagreed and wants entrepreneurs to think 'inside the box'.

Lesson 5 - Be your own worst critic


Simply put, this was 'don't have a silly idea - it won't go down well'. We saw the sad story of Derek Cousins whose product flummoxed me: some kind of flashing light thing to go on road signs. I still don't understand it and neither did the Dragons. But we caught up with him as he pushed his idea to the RAC, despite the very agency (Highways) he tried to sell it to wanting nothing to do with it. Unfortunately, the president of the RAC encouraged him, ensuring that he'll throw more good money after bad.

Finally, we heard about 'the one that got away', the Tangle Teaser that's a massive seller.

So what did I learn? I learned that Deborah Meaden absolutely, positively does not colour her beautifully highlighted head. That, my friends, is a FACT.

What do you think? Did you glean any insights from the show? Will you be using them to pitch your genius product? Do you believe that Deborah Meaden colours her hair (she definitely doesn't). Let us know in the comments below!


Watch on BBC iPlayer

Posted by Tannice for thecustardtv. Follow Tannice on Twitter.

The TVWEEK: Saturday 8th - Friday 14th October 2011

Saturday
7.00pm Harry Hill's TV Burp ITV - Return of the comic look at this week's TV.
9.45pm Mixed Race Season: How The World Got Mixed Up BBC2 - Documentary that explores the historical and contemporary social, sexual and political attitudes to race mixing.
Monday
10.55am Phil Spencer: Secret Agent Channel 4 - Relcoation and Location, Location presenter Phil Spencer fronts a brand new daytime aimed at getting the UK's housing market back on track.
4.00pm Deal or No Deal Live Channel 4 - The gameshow goes live for the first time ever.
5.00pm Celebrity Coach Trip Channel 4 - Brendan Sheerin is back with his trusty clipboard for two weeks of fun travelling across Europe with 10 celebrity tourists. Joining Brendan for the start of the tour are Big Brother buddies Brian Belo and Spencer Smith, showbiz partners Gary Cockerill and Phil Turner, former WAG Lizzie Cundy and model Emma B, TV presenter Michael Barrymore and his friend Maurice Leonard, and ex-WAG Alex Best and former MP Lembit Opik.
5,30pm Celebrity Come Dine With Me Channel 4 - Celebrities organize their dinner parties including Pete Burns, Big Brother's Chantelle Houghton, comedienne and actress Cleo Rocos and dancer and Pineapple Dance Studio's Andrew Stone.
9.00pm Twincredibles BBC2 - Documentary Telling the surprising story of the  genetic phenomenon of twins where one is black and one is white as part ofof BBC Two's Mixed Race Season. It explores the life experiences of five sets of black and white twins, from babies and teenagers through to brothers nearing 30, who are similar in so many other ways but lead very different lives because of the colour of their skin. The programme hears from teenagers James and Daniel, who grew up in South East London, where it was the whiter-looking twin Daniel who suffered racial abuse; 11-year-old Glaswegian twins Ebony and Moesha who are very different in character; and new mum Shirley who has just given birth to twins Hope and Leo.
9.00pm Sam & Evan: From Girls to Men BBC3 - 17-year-old Sam and 20-year-old Evan describe themselves as a gay male couple - but underneath their clothes they have female bodies. What makes this story so exceptional is that they are both in the process of changing their genders from female to male, at the same time. This film follows their gender-changing journey and the prejudice they encounter along the way - including the humiliation and fear they suffer of having eggs thrown at them as they walk to the bus stop.
9.00pm Ceramics: A Fragile History BBC4 -Part of an ambitious year-long BBC Four partnership with the Victoria and Albert Museum called Handmade In Britain – the most wide-ranging and ambitious exploration of decorative arts ever on British television. The first programme in this opening series looks at the history of domestic pottery in Britain from the Tudor period onwards, tracing the evolution of the different techniques and styles involved in the art of pottery and examining what British pots can reveal in intimate detail about how preceding generations lived and saw themselves.
9.00pm Signed by Katie Price SkyLiving - Series that follows Katie Price as she launches her Model Agency.
10.35pm Exposure: Heart Hospital ITV - Documentary that follows three patients at Birmingham's Queen Elizabeth Hospital as they take the long and uncertain road towards a life-saving operation. The programme also includes a rare opportunity to witness extraordinary heart transplant surgery.
Tuesday
8.00pm High Stakes ITV - Jeremy Kyle hosts a new game show in which the players use clues to guide them across a grid containing cash prizes ranging from £1,000 to £500,000. But if they stand on a trap, the whole grid descends and the game is over for them.
9.00pm The Vampire Diaries ITV2 - New series of US Supernatural drama.
9.00pm The Specksavers Crime Thriller Awards ITV3 - Marcus Brigstocke hosts the awards show from London's Grosvenor House Hotel
10.00pm Models,Misifits & Mayhem ITV2 - Documentary series following students and staff at the London School of Modelling. Principal Debbie and the teachers try to turn 15 students into models in just four days. With casting agents turning up at the end of the bootcamp, the staff have their work cut out for them. The students are told that they must do a nude photoshoot, but how will they react?
10.35pm Me, My Sex and I BBC1 - Documentary that unlocks the stories of people born neither entirely male nor female. Conditions like these have been known as 'intersex' and shrouded in unnecessary shame and secrecy for decades.
Wednesday
8.00pm Midsomer Murders ITV
Thursday
9.00pm Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey ITV -4-part travelogue from the actress. Joanna explores both the ancient and modern aspects to Greece. Following in the footsteps of the ancient Greeks, she visits some of the most significant sites of the empire, exploring the history, Gods, beliefs, myths and legends which hail from this most significant chapter in European history.
9.00pm Junior Doctors: One Year Check Up BBC3 - Revisiting the newly qualified doctors first profiled in Junior Doctors earlier in the year.
Friday
7.30pm Terry Gillam's Faust BBC4 - Broadcast of The English National Opera's highly acclaimed new production of Berlioz's The Damnation Of Faust, directed and introduced by film-maker and former Python Terry Gilliam.
8.00pm Wild Britain with Ray Mears ITV - Ray heads to the Caledonian pine forests of the Scottish heartlands. These ancient forests once spread across thousands of kilometres of the Highlands, but today only a few remnants remain. They are home to rare species including the capercaillie, a turkey-sized grouse.
8.30pm Spy Sky1 - Sitcom about a Father and son who work for MI-5 starring Robert Lyndsay and Darren Boyd.
9.00pm Have I Got News For You? BBC1 - Welcome return of the news panel show with Ian Hislop and Paul Merton.
9.00pm Comic Strip Presents: The Hunt for Tony Blair Channel 4 - The Comic Strip team return for a special 50s-style 'fugitive' film noir spoof. Prime Minister Tony Blair (Stephen Mangan) is wanted for murder and on the run. Escaping from Number 10 and leaving behind his adoring wife Cherie (Catherine Shepherd), Tony vows to clear his name no matter what the consequences. But on a foggy London night, Tony has few friends willing to harbour a wanted man. With front pages demanding his capture, Blair has no choice but to go on the run, with Inspector Hutton (Robbie Coltrane) and his sidekick (James Buckley) hot on his trail. Also starring Nigel Planer, Ford Kiernan, Harry Enfield (as Alastair Campbell), Rik Mayall, Morgana Robinson, John Sessions, Ross Noble, and Jennifer Saunders as Margaret Thatcher.

Too old for The Fades? BBC3

I spotted the trailers for The Fades on the BBC and thought that it looked quite interesting; a dark supernatural thriller airing after the 9 pm watershed. However when I started watching I realized that the show is not really aimed at ageing rockers like me, but more at a younger audience with their baggy trousers and their hippity hop music. Down with kids me. Perhaps there were clues that isn't wasn't aimed at me in the BBC's description of the series.

“The Fades is a fantasy horror series charting the life of a 17 year old boy called Paul. 17-year-old geek Paul can see the spirits of the dead. Now a vengeful spirit - or Fade - has broken through to our world and Paul’s friends and family are in the eye of the storm.”

Had I spotted the “17-year-old geek” in there before starting to watch it, I would have  been ready for the storm of clichés that blighted the opening episode.

To be fair, Paul (Iain De Caestecker) is probably not a geek in the true sense of the word; he and his best mate Mac (Daniel Kaluuya, whom you probably saw last in Psychoville) are the two archetypical school "losers" who are ridiculed and snubbed by their peers – notably Paul’s sister Anna (Lily Loveless – Skins) and a pair of junior boys who appear to be Crabbe and Goyle escaped from Harry Potter. That Paul and Mac are ridiculed is no surprise, given that Paul is quiet, moody and retiring and that Mac is a loudmouth who can apparently only communicate by quotes from Star Wars. We know people like that don't we? No.. thought not.
 
The scene is therefore set for lots of teenage angst, and that’s before Paul finds out that he really is different… he can see dead people.

Episode 1 sees Paul witnessing a bizarre attack in a disused shopping centre and following Neil (Johnny Harris) as he escapes with the mortally wounded ex-wife of one of Paul’s teachers. It turns out that Neil is an “Angelic”, one of a group of people with special powers who fight the Fades. (Oh yes, the Fades - we’re getting there, keep on reading). Neil spots Paul in the shopping centre and realizes that he can see the Fades and so turns up (in his bedroom) to recruit him. Neil explains that Fades are people who have died and who are waiting to ascend, but that if they don’t find a suitable spot they are condemned to remain on earth forever, something which generally makes them turn a little nasty.

Now, I believe its fair to watch the second episode of something. I wasn't blown away (or  sure what was going on) in Episode 1 but gave it a second chance to win me over. Episode 2 opens with Mac explaining the situation far better than Neil did in Episode 1 and we find out quite a bit more about what’s been going on. This was most helpful for my slower-running neurons – I seemed to have missed much of the key background data. The Fades are getting stronger and can now interact with the real world, something nasty is behind this (or profiting from it) and Neil thinks that Paul may be the “Special One” who can save us all. Now where have I heard all this before? Dysfunctional, angst-ridden teenagers, occult nasties, “zero to hero” as the yoof discovers his abilities, the “Chosen One”… Oh yes! Only all the other occult series for teenagers, and most recently the ill-fated ITV offering “Demons” (Remember that? Philip Glenister with his fake American accent? – It was so dire that I had to be reminded what the show had been called) .

So that’s what this is, an occult adventure for teenagers with all the usual clichés. However, contrary to “Demons”,  this BBC production seems to be doing it very well so far, making for a far darker atmosphere and avoiding all the bounciness of Buffy. There are already one or two  quite surprising twists even after two episodes, showing that the writer (Jack Thorne, Skins) has managed to fit some imagination in amongst the clichés. His blog states that “The Fades was born out of the worst TV script I - or possibly anyone else - has ever written” and that the first episode underwent 36 re-writes; maybe this explains why I felt that I had missed so much information and was glad to have Mac’s “story so far” at the beginning of episode 2.

The show is well-produced, with some very atmospheric shots bringing a feeling of menace at the right moments. Despite it being aimed fairly and squarely at teenagers and struggling under a heavy burden of clichés, it appears to contain a little more substance than many similar offerings; I shall continue watching it, mainly because once you put aside the clichés it is well-written, inventive and well-produced… and I want to know what happens next – generally a good sign for me.

Contributed by Clive for thecustardtv.blogspot.com

                        Follow Clive on Twitter

First Look: Frozen Planet, BBC1

On Saturday just before the finale of Doctor Who, the BBC premiered the trailer for the upcoming nature series Frozen Planet. If the trailer is anything to go by its not to be missed.



Frozen Planet starts in late October on BBC1.

Philip Glenister returns to BBC1 with 4-part thriller Hidden

Hidden begins Thursday 6th October 9pm BBC1

This Autumn Philip Glenister returns to BBC1 in a new 4-part conspiracy thriller Hidden.

It centres around Glenister's character Harry Venn, a small-time solicitor who is forced to revisit his murky past and quickly finds himself caught up in a much more complex and deeper conspiracy.


In a recent interview Philip spoke about what viewers can expect.

Can you tell us about Hidden?

It's a four part drama for BBC One, it's under the bracket of a 'conspiratorial thriller'. I play a character called Harry Venn, who on the surface is just a normal high street solicitor, getting by, an every day sort of chap, with rather a shady past that comes back to haunt him in the guise of Thekla's character Gina, who imparts some information about my past and her past which brings us together on a sort of mission...

and what sort of character is Harry?

He's fairly laid back, quite laconic - a bit like me really! As I say he's a high street solicitor, but he had a past - which is slightly dodgy - which he's left behind and the idea is that he's going straight. But he still knows a few rough diamonds that he keeps in contact with and who become quite an important part of the story.

He is obviously quite a departure from Gene Hunt which viewers will know you best for, was that a deliberate act on your part?
Well I wouldn't say it was deliberate, it was more hopeful - this is the first role on terrestrial telly that I've played since I finished playing Gene in the last series of 'Ashes'. It was such a good script, written by Ronan Bennett, who is a terrific writer with a great reputation, and David Thompson was executing- who I've worked with in the past and is somebody I look up to and respect very much so to have that grouping behind you to begin with was fabulous. When they approached me with this script it was a no brainer and I read the first one and it's always a good sign when you immediately want to go on to episode two...

What was it like filming with Thekla - had you worked with her before?
I hadn't worked with her before, and to be absolutely honest I didn't know that much about her until somebody said to me that she was the receptionist in 'In Bruges' and immediately, because she was so great in that, I was like 'Oh right ok' and then obviously she was in 'The American' which I hadn't seen but made a point of watching. And she was great, I really enjoyed working with her, and I think she was fantastic for the part - I think its great to have someone that maybe a British audience wont know too much about. Gina is a mysterious character, and quite a glam character and I think not being English gives the role, and the show, some gravitas - and we had a good laugh working together.

What can you tell me about the relationship between Harry and Gina?

well it starts off - from Harry's point of view he doesn't know anything about Gina- he doesn't know where she's come from and the fact that she seems to know so much about him kind of freaks him out, and so he kind of dismisses her as being a bit crazy. But then she mentions his brother, and a name from the past that he thinks only he and his mate and his ex wife know about- so for this stranger to suddenly have this information freaks him. So he has no choice but to pursue Gina and find out exactly what's going on, he follows her to Paris and she's not giving anything away. So it starts off with massive distrust and Harry's not sure if she's working against him or for an organisation, and its only through trial and perseverance that they begin to get anywhere and then from that point, when their lives are threatened and somebody from the past enters their lives, that's when they start having to work together to try and save themselves and try to find out what's been going on and how they're involved.

What's Harry's relationship like with his son?

Harry's relationship with his son is obviously quite fractious - there's not a lot of back story on that relationship but his home life is a mess, he's been booted out by his ex wife - they're still on speaking terms, and other terms as well judging by one of the scenes... But its something that Harry obviously didn't want to happen -he'd like to be settled with his wife and she's the one that says 'I cant deal with this any more- you're never around' - because of work and because the character is slightly off the rails a little bit. But their relationship is interesting because his relationship with his own father is very fractious and so that's carried on with him and his son, and he basically hasn't spent any time with his son and his son starts getting into trouble, so there's this pattern at work.

what do you think viewers will really enjoy about Hidden?

I hope they'll enjoy the story and watching it unravel and I hope they'll want to come back for more after each episode. Personally I like a good conspiratorial thriller, its always kind of fun, you have to work at them. I think it's a very grown up piece, it's quite a slow burner to begin with but you need that to set the story up because there's a hell of a lot of information to impart and a lot going on. And I hope that in the same way that, when I first read the first episode, I wanted to know more about where it was going and to find out about Harry and Gina, that viewers will really enjoy it and follow it.

Watch Hidden Thursday 6th October 9pm on BBC1

What's wrong with a celebrity travelogue?

ITV has three celebrity travelogues planned; Joanna Lumley's Greek Odyssey, Mighty Mississippi with Sir Trevor McDonald and Cornwall with Caroline Quentin. This reviewer is looking forward to them.

Why do we prefer watching celebrities presenting a show more than an experienced, eloquent travel journalist?


There's something homely about watching a much-loved character actor or presenter take us on holiday. We feel we know them: we've seen them onscreen, through their trials and tribulations with their misbehaving men or their feisty, boozy side-kicks. We've also watched them relay breaking news or, in the case of Michael Palin, dress as a Spanish inquisitor and inform us nobody was expecting him (or the inquisition). There's a certain charm to hearing what a famous face thinks about a certain area of our world and finding out more about them in the process. 



There's certainly not a shortage of these programmes - from memory, we've had Martin Clunes touring the Islands of Britain, Piers Morgan on  Las Vegas, Marbella and Shanghai, The Wonderful Stephen Fry™ across America, Paul Merton in India and Andrew Marr on cities across the world.



Whilst a lot of a travelogue often relies on the personality and the opinion of the host, whoever that may be, you often get to see a side of a country you might not otherwise get the opportunity to. Piers Morgan's series on the excessive glitz and glamour of Dubai was a prime example: profiling a place few might get to see before the greed of its denizens destroys it, leaving the sand dunes to reinstate their atrophy and reverting it back to a desert wasteland. 


Celebrity travelogues get a lot of flack from serious journalists, arguing that the personalities get in the way of the reality of the country and the people who live there: it's self-indulgent, egoistic and exploitative; potentially a way for a Westerner to mock the idiosyncrasies of other cultures, alien to our own. I've yet to watch one that I'd completely attach those arguments to.


So what makes a good travelogue presenter? I'd argue that humour and humility are the best mix. Too much of either makes the journey a mocking  'self-discovery' piece and indeed falls into the trap of self-indulgent nonsense that critics harp on about. I've never been a fan of Western celebrities going to Africa to cry in front of hungry children, urging us to donate, then coming back and cashing in on their exposure, when they could have easily donated a large portion of their salary to whatever cause it is without boosting their own career. Anyway, I digress. A good dose of humour (directed at themselves, rather than those living there) makes a programme - there's only so many shots of beautiful landscapes a viewer can watch without admiration turning to out and out jealousy at the cushy job they've landed. But if you love the celebrity hosting the programme, you'd probably watch them extolling the virtues of various supermarkets across the UK without batting an eyelid. 


Anyone who's travelled alone will have experienced the loneliness of witnessing a breathtaking sunset or a striking mountain and having no-one to share it with or relive it in nostalgic times. The vicarious pleasure of these travelogues is not to be sniffed at.


What do you think of celebrity travelogues? Will you watch ITV's new shows? Do you love them or hate them? Whose travelogue would you like to see and where should they go? We'd love to hear your favourites in the comments.


Posted by Tannice for thecustardtv. Follow Tannice on Twitter.